Under the Christmas Rose
by Belladonna Lee
Summary: Sirius/James, James/Remus. In one of many draughty hidden passages of Hogwarts, Sirius emerged from a frayed tapestry and saw two boys kissing under the mistletoe—two boys whom he knew well.
1. First Kiss

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter and its characters are not mine.

A/N: This story will be in three parts.

**Under the Christmas Rose**

_First Kiss_

In one of many draughty hidden passages of Hogwarts, Sirius emerged from a frayed tapestry and stopped dead in his tracks. Golden light flickered in cast-iron sconces and played patterns upon two boys kissing in the alcove of the bay window. Like a bait for the unwary, a sprig of mistletoe dangled from the stone arch above the embracing figures. Clad in identical black robes, the figures seemed to be on the verge of melting into one another and into the dark beyond outside the window.

The sight of the entwining figures stirred up something within Sirius, and he stayed rooted to the spot, his heartbeat racing and his mind in a whirlwind. He knew who the two boys were, even though he could hardly believe his eyes. James and Remus—his friends, roommates and fellow Marauders—were kissing and embracing as if they were lovers.

As though sensing his presence, Remus tilted his head ever so slightly and met Sirius' gaze. His face flushed and his heart skipped a beat, Sirius bit the inside of his cheek and walked towards Remus and James. At once Remus broke off the kiss and pulled away, and James let him go with much reluctance before scowling at the intruder. When he saw Sirius, however, he blinked, and a bashful look came over his countenance.

"Er, hallo, Padfoot. Going for a walk?" James sounded almost like his usual self, but the colour on his cheeks and the glint in his hazel eyes spoke otherwise.

"Yeah, something like that." Sirius looked from James—who was feigning nonchalance still—to Remus—composed and silent, a closed book but for those slightly swollen lips. How long had they been kissing, Sirius wondered. "I certainly wasn't expecting to find two of my friends snogging each other silly under the mistletoe."

"I'm sure," Remus muttered, his veiled green eyes falling upon James. Catching his gaze, James smiled a quick little smile, an exchange of secret signals and meaningful looks. There was something intangible flowing in the space between James and Remus, a space that no one could intrude upon.

Stricken with a spell of bitterness, Sirius crossed his arms and regarded his friends. He once thought the spot by James' side was his and his alone—not anymore. "So that's how it is? You two are going out."

To Sirius' surprise, it was Remus who answered first. "We were just fooling around. Christmas tradition and all." Remus absently ran his hands over his faded school robe, smoothing out wrinkles that were not there. "I have to go. I was supposed to be on prefect duty."

"Right. And I'll walk Prongs back to the dorm and guard him with my life," Sirius said wryly while casting James a sidelong glance.

James did not look at all amused. "Very funny, Sirius."

"I'll see you later." With a vague smile that seemed to spell too much meaning and nothing at all, Remus went over to the tapestry that Sirius had come through from, pulled it aside, and slipped behind it into the secret passage. The tapestry fell back into place with a muted thud and stirred up a cloud of dust in the guttering light.

"Well." Sirius spoke up once Remus was out of earshot. "Dragging off a prefect-on-duty to some secluded nook for a round of _Christmas tradition _has got to be one of your crazier ideas. And who'd have thought Remus would go along with it. He usually takes his prefect duty very seriously."

"Yeah, he's full of surprises."

With a faraway look on his face James stared at the dusty tapestry, as though waiting and wishing for a certain someone to jump out of the tapestry and back into his arms. Seeing the look on James' face, Sirius pressed his lips together and fell silent. For one tantalising moment, a pang of emotions drowned out all other thoughts but one in his head: jealousy, or longing, or loneliness.

"I'm leaving you behind," Sirius said coolly.

James blinked as though he had just woken from a dream; in the next beat, his lips curved into a lopsided grin. Without ceremony he threw an arm around Sirius' shoulders and steered him towards the tapestry. "You'll never do that. I'm your best mate, right?" James said casually, as if nothing at all was amiss. The face that Sirius had glimpsed upon only a moment ago could have been a lie.

* * *

_To be continued..._


	2. Second Kiss

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter and its characters are not mine.

**Under the Christmas Rose**

_Second Kiss_

A waft of sweetness filled the air of Honeydukes, where every kind of sweets imaginable was on display. Rows of shelves were stuffed with sweets in their bright, colourful packaging, while barrels were filled to the brim with all-time favourites and threatened to spill all over the floor. It was every Hansel's and every Gretel's wildest dream, and there was no evil witch wanting to roast children alive.

The shop was swarming with Hogwarts students stocking up before the holidays. After grabbing a few exploding bonbons along the way, Sirius pushed his way through the crowd towards the chocolate section, where James was examining lavish-looking boxes of chocolates with a critical eye. This corner of the shop was unsurprisingly empty, for very few Hogwarts students cared for expensive chocolates, much less be able to afford them.

"They aren't going to answer your prayer even if you glare at them," Sirius drawled. "Although it would be quite a spectacle if you can make them explode by staring very hard at them."

"Have no fear. I'll manage it one of these days." James flashed Sirius a grin and turned once more towards the shelves. "Which one would Remus like, you think?" Unmindful of Sirius' silence, he picked up a golden box of chocolates, looked it over, and put it back. "A chocolate bar is just too plain."

Stricken with a spell of agitation, Sirius did not bother stifling the sardonic note in his voice. "I'm sure he'll like anything you give him. He's fond of chocolates, and he isn't picky. Unlike a certain someone I know." With that he sent James a pointed look.

"Yeah, and his name is Sirius Black," James said casually. In the next beat, he frowned as though a notion had just occurred to him, and he shot Sirius a sidelong glance. "You sure know Remus well."

"How long do you think we've been friends?" Sirius countered, and those words echoed in the chamber of his psyche and would not be silenced. How long had he been friends with James and Remus, he asked himself, and yet he had noticed nothing until the truth stared him in the eye.

"Far too long," James declared in a solemn voice, though the effect was marred by a quirk of a smile upon his lips. "Well, I guess I'll just pick something."

After a moment of deliberation, James picked up a wine-red box tied with a gold ribbon, neither too big nor too small. The choice was almost tactful of James—if not for the flamboyant and decidedly Gryffindor colours. For once Sirius held his tongue, but the implication behind the present could not be more obvious. Without a word he turned on his heel and made his way to the counter, leaving James to follow him in haste.

"Hey, where's Peter?" James asked as he scanned the crowd for a small, fat figure with mousy brown hair. "I don't see him."

"Probably gotten stuck to the toffees," Sirius muttered absent-mindedly. He paid for his purchase and received his bag of sweets from the tired-looking lady behind the counter. "Once he'd gotten himself unstuck, he knows where to find us."

"As his friend, it's your duty to save him from the sticky clutches of fat toffees—Oh, it's nothing. Just a joke. I'll have this." With that James handed the box of chocolates over to the lady, who could not quite hide her smile.

"Chocolates for a young lady?" the lady asked.

The smile upon James' lips became ever so wry, a strange smile that somehow reminded Sirius of Remus, and he did not like it—not at all. "Yeah, something like that," James said vaguely. "Can I have one of those nice-looking bags for the chocolates?"

After leaving the kaleidoscopic vision of Honeydukes behind them, Sirius and James stepped into the snow-shrouded street of Hogsmeade, which had transformed into a quaint vision of a Christmas village. Holly and ivy adorned the windows of every building, and towering fir trees were riddled with burning candles and red ribbons and sprinkles of snow. There was a crisp chill in the air; not a single bird flew in the frozen sky.

His breath coming out in white steam, Sirius stuffed his hands in his pockets and hunched his shoulders in the cold. "The Three Broomsticks?" he suggested.

"Where else?" came James' sarcastic reply.

In a brisk stride James and Sirius matched across the street and into the welcoming warmth of the Three Broomsticks. On this winter afternoon, the inn was bustling with people and noises and activities. The smell of food enticed the palate; a thick cloud of smoke hung in the air as though it could never be dispelled.

After paying for a tankard of Butterbeer each at the counter, James and Sirius took their tankards and hunted for an empty table. It took a while before they found a small table in the room at the back, tucked away behind a magnificent Christmas tree laden with baubles and tinsel. Once James and Sirius had deposited their purchases on the table, they clinked their tankards together and drank to the brewer's good health.

The foamy Butterbeer warmed Sirius up and set him in a better mood than before. "Lucky Remus didn't come with us, huh?" He cast a glance at the paper shopping bag James got from the lady at Honeydukes. "Wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

"I have other ways to surprise him, of course." James drank a mouthful of Butterbeer and licked away the foam on his lips, an unconscious movement that drew Sirius' gaze to his mouth like a moth to fire. "I already got him something for Christmas, and it's not chocolates."

Listening with half an ear, Sirius opened his bag of sweets and shook out a few pastel-coloured exploding bonbons. "Let me guess. An ugly jumper that flashes _Kiss me_ in big, bold letters?"

"It's an idea, but no." In the next beat, James' face broke into a lopsided grin. "Actually, if I can get Remus to wear just the jumper and nothing else... Well, one can always dream."

"Yeah, keep dreaming," Sirius mumbled, a hollow echo of James' words. "Who knows? Maybe he'll put it on if you ask him nicely. He's always had a soft spot for you. Must be the hair."

James smirked. "Jealous, Padfoot?"

Resentment flickered in Sirius' mind like a spark and left a burn mark on his thought. _You have no idea, James. You never do._ "Hardly, Prongs," Sirius said coolly, his fingers toying with an exploding bonbon. "Remus' eyes are green too. Just like Lily's."

His brow knitted, James reached for the Christmas tree and snapped off a verdant twig. "So?"

"You are snogging Remus, and you fancy Lily," Sirius remarked while James held the twig to his nose and breathed in its scent. "Do green eyes turn you on?"

A ghost of a smile played about James' lips. "Maybe you are onto something." He admitted. With that he gulped down some more Butterbeer and let out a satisfied sigh. "It feels good snogging Remus. He's so different from the girls I'd been with. It's not just because he's a boy either; and he tastes like cinnamon."

_And you want him to taste like chocolate._

Keeping the thought to himself, Sirius made a noncommittal sound and drank his Butterbeer. An idea took root in his mind and would not be plucked. Acting at once upon his impulse, he whipped out his wand, conjured a sprig of mistletoe out of thin air, and dangled it between him and James.

"Want to give it a go?"

Dumbstruck, James stared at Sirius with those hazel eyes of his, eyes that held a hint of green in their dark depths. Several tense heartbeats later, he let out a snigger. "Feeling competitive, Sirius?"

His heart pounding in his chest, Sirius stared back at James in defiance; he knew all too well that this partner in crime of his would never back down from a game or a challenge. "Scared?"

There was an unmistakable glint in James' eyes and a quirk of a smirk on his lips. "Not in your lifetime."

As though to prove his words, James took the initiative and leant towards Sirius, and Sirius, not wanting to be outdone, leant over and caught James' lips in a tentative kiss. After a fleeting brushing of lips, Sirius caught James by the nape and deepened the kiss; James' murmur of surprise was swallowed up whole and became lost inside Sirius. Needing to taste more of James, Sirius nudged James' mouth open with his tongue; in turn James' tongue gave his tongue a playful prod. He was burning up, his heat melding with James' heat.

After what felt like an eternity that was in truth no more than a minute at most, James and Sirius drew apart and gazed into each other's eyes. Sirius forgot to breathe; James too seemed a little dazed and out of breath. It was like a pleasant dream on a languid afternoon, but the tingling on Sirius' lips spoke otherwise. When James absently licked those lips that Sirius had kissed, Sirius' heart skipped a beat.

"Mm, Butterbeer." A ghost of a smile played about James' lips. "Well, that wasn't bad. But you'd better stick to another profession, love."

Sirius half-heartedly flung the mistletoe at James, who, laughing a good-natured laugh, caught the mistletoe with ease. Up to no good as always, James took out his wand and cast a spell. As though with a life of its own, the mistletoe flew out of James' hand and hovered a few feet above the table.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "So, whoever sits at the table will have to kiss?"

"Just spreading some joy and cheer all around." James rose to his feet, prompting Sirius to give him a questioning look. "I'm going to grab a bottle of Butterbeer for Remus. And one for Peter too."

"Right, and I'm just going to sit here and look after your precious chocolates."

After flashing Sirius a grin, James went off in search of more Butterbeer. As soon as James was gone, Sirius let out a breath and felt his heartbeat gradually returning to normal. The kiss he shared with James was not quite what he had expected, and yet it was so much more than what he had dreamt of. It left him feeling at once giddy and terribly lonely.

When Sirius looked about him without interest, he caught a scruffy-looking wizard giving him funny looks. It appeared this game of mistletoe he played with James had caught someone's attention, and he cared not a whit. He ignored the man, took a sip of his Butterbeer, and waited for James to come back to him.

The sun had set by the time Sirius and James left the Three Broomsticks. The sky had darkened to a smudgy blue, and lamps were lit on the streets and behind windows, their warm lights flickering in the coming dark. Walking down the street with James by his side, Sirius barely felt the winter chill. Yes, he thought, this felt _right_.

They ran into a frantic-looking Peter outside Honeydukes, and James appeased him with a warm bottle of Butterbeer. "Here. It's for you. Let's go back to the castle. I'm starving." And without further ado the three of them made their way back to Hogwarts.

The brightly lit entrance hall was crowded with students returning from Hogsmeade, their noses and faces ruddy from the cold. Filing behind a group of excitable third-years, James, Sirius and Peter climbed the stairs to the first floor. Just as Sirius was about to go up the next flight of stairs, James stopped in his tracks.

"I'm going to try and drag Remus out of the library," James said lightly, his eyes bright and the curve of his lips ever so playful. "It'll probably take a while, so don't wait up."

A rush of dark feelings washed over Sirius, but he did not let his feelings show, not right now, not in front of James. "Yeah, Remus and his love affair with the library," he heard himself say, dispassionate and without inflection. "Better go save him before all those mouldy books bury him alive."

A strange look came over James' countenance, and those hazel eyes of his peered at Sirius' face as though searching for something. For one reckless moment, Sirius wanted to tell James all those things he had locked away in a box inside of him, out of sight but never out of mind. He wanted to tell James not to go to Remus; he wanted to tell James to stay with him.

"Go on. We'll catch you later."

After flashing James a quick, meaningless smirk, Sirius briskly walked up the staircase, and Peter scrambled in haste after him. He did not turn around to see if James was watching—or if James had already left for the library to meet up with Remus.

"You want a toffee, Sirius?" Peter offered when he caught up with Sirius. "Or a cauldron cake? I bought plenty to share with everyone."

The aftertaste of Butterbeer lingered still in Sirius' mouth, and along with it lingered the taste of James' kiss, warm and bitter and sweet. "No," Sirius said. "I have enough sweets for the day."

* * *

_To be continued..._


	3. Interlude: Kisses

Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter and its characters are not mine.

Summary: In the labyrinth of books that is Hogwarts library, James finds Remus sitting in an alcove by the lattice-window, and little by little the restlessness in him ebbs away.

A/N: An interlude focusing on James and Remus.

**Under the Christmas Rose**

_Interlude: Kisses_

In the labyrinth of books that was Hogwarts library, James found Remus sitting in an alcove by the lattice-window, poring over a book. Beneath the yellow lamplight, Remus' hair took on a lighter tint not unlike the grey of his wolf form. Behind him, the deepening dusk filled the window, and upon the glass panes was reflected the golden light of the library and Remus' silhouette. There was no one else about in this corner of the library; Remus seemed to have a penchant for finding secluded spots all over the castle.

Holding a paper shopping bag with one hand, James ran his other hand through his messy black hair out of habit and tousled it further. Inside the bag was a box of Honeydukes' finest chocolates—a present he bought for Remus. Feeling warm and giddy and impatient, he went over to the alcove and sat down without ceremony beside Remus, who looked up from the book he was reading and shot James a glance.

Ever so casually James leant against Remus, shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm, and little by little the restlessness in him ebbed away. "What are you reading? Something from the Restricted and Relentlessly Risqué Section?"

"I'm reading up on Lethifolds," Remus said mildly as he bore with James' weight. "Fascinating creatures. They are the only known creatures to take their meal exclusively in bed. Some survivors claim that being fed upon by a Lethifold can be quite arousing. It makes you wonder, doesn't it?"

"I can do without the image of some bloke _standing at attention_ while he's eaten by a Lethifold," James remarked in all seriousness, which was not much. Remus had quite a twisted sense of humour at times, he found. "But if that's how you like to play, I can be your Lethifold and keep you warm and toasty."

"I'll take a blanket instead." There was a wry note in Remus' voice, but the faint smile upon his lips could not hide his weariness or the wanness of his visage. It seemed he had not fully recovered from his monthly affliction yet. "You are back early."

"Miss me?" James asked, half serious and half in jest.

Turning away from James, Remus looked down at his book. "Maybe."

Feeling a twinge of disappointment, James hid his agitation behind a nonchalant face. "I have a special delivery for a Mr Remus Lupin," he said. Something in his voice must have given him away, however, for Remus cast him a searching look.

Without further ado James whipped out a warm bottle of Butterbeer from the pocket of his coat and gave it to Remus. "Something to warm you up." He then dropped the shopping bag on Remus' lap. "And something to cheer you up."

Looking bemused, Remus stared at the pretty shopping bag on his lap. "Er, thank you. Isn't it a bit early for Christmas presents?" When he saw the fancy wine-red box in the bag, he blinked, and a strange expression came over his face. "This must cost quite a few Galleons."

"I just thought it looks nice, and I like giving you something nice." That said, James had never bought Honeydukes' lavish chocolate box before, and he had no idea if they tasted as good as the packaging had led him to believe. "It's just chocolates. It won't make me go broke or anything."

Giving Remus no room to protest, James took out the chocolate box from the bag, pulled off the golden ribbon, and opened the lid. A sweet aroma came forth from the box and enticed the senses. Nestled in their little compartments, each piece of chocolate was exquisitely made and pleasing to the eye.

James picked out a piece of chocolate that was shaped like a gift box, complete with a little white bow at the top. "Here." With that he held the chocolate to Remus' lips, urging Remus to open up for him. "Eat up before it melts."

After regarding James for a beat or two, Remus heaved a breath in resignation, put aside the book and the Butterbeer, and let James feed him the chocolate. Unable to resist, James let his finger linger on Remus' lips, and as always Remus indulged him and his whim. As Remus ate the chocolate, his knitted brow relaxed and his expression softened. His slightly chapped lips seemed mellow and tender with a hint of a smile.

"Mm, this is good."

Unable to keep the grin off his face, James chose a chocolate garnished with a tiny ruby-red gem and popped it into his mouth. The slight tartness of raspberry soon gave way to the bitter-sweetness of dark chocolate, a taste that he, sweet-loving and all but sixteen years of age, could not fully appreciate yet.

"Well, it's not bad." James closed the lid of the chocolate box and returned it to the shopping bag, along with the golden ribbon. "You can have the rest."

With a quirk of a smile playing about his lips, Remus placed the shopping bag on the floor beside his school bag. "I'll share them with Sirius and Peter."

The remark prickled the fragile part of James' psyche like a thorn, and the memory of the kiss he shared with Sirius under the mistletoe flickered in his mind like a spark. _It was a dare, that's all,_ James told himself.

"They'll probably suspect something is up," James remarked, his tone deliberately offhand. "You still look peaky. Better keep the chocolates to yourself. You know, just in case."

Those watchful green eyes of Remus' were fixed upon James, and for one disconcerting moment, James wondered if Remus had seen through his act. As though sensing James' unease, Remus looked away from him and picked up the book once more.

"I'd have to find a place to stash away the chocolates," Remus mused aloud while flipping through the book, his fingers lingering over a page here and a passage there. "You never know when Peter might snoop around for a snack—"

"I want to kiss you."

The rustling of the pages ceased at once; various noises from various parts of the library filled up the silence. A chair creaked, a book thudded, someone coughed. Resting his book on his lap, Remus sent James a sidelong glance. "You don't usually say it in so many words," he said.

"So you want more action and less talk, huh? I'm good with that." James pulled out his wand and cast a spell. "There. No one will bother us this time." Letting his impulse take over, he threw an arm around Remus' shoulders and made Remus look at him and only him. "What do you say?"

His lips parted, Remus was about to say something before he changed his mind. After darting a glance at the bookshelves and the empty aisle, he put his book aside, leant over without a word, and gave James' lips a tentative lick, tasting him and teasing him. His pulse quickened, James pressed forward and kissed Remus, their lips coming together, drawing away, and coming together once more.

Remus tasted sweet, James thought dimly as he lost himself in the deepening kiss, in the tangling of tongues, in the exchange of saliva. Perhaps James was merely tasting himself and the chocolate he had eaten, and it did not matter. A warm, heady feeling swept over him; a thrill trickled down his spine. He felt a little like the chocolate that had melted in Remus' mouth and was swallowed whole and could no longer be found.

Before long, Remus broke off the kiss and pulled away, and James, breathless and dazed, let him go. Did Remus enjoy this, James wondered as Remus absently wiped away the drool dripping down his mouth. There was a blush of colour on Remus' cheeks, and the golden lamplight was caught in his eyes like the moon, the moon that tipped James a little closer to the edge and drove him a little mad.

"I'd hate it if you snog someone else," James said ever so casually—perhaps too casually.

With a distracted air about him Remus reached for the Butterbeer bottle on the window-sill and opened the cap. "I don't mind if you kiss someone else."

Feeling a pang in his chest, James shot Remus a sharp look. Being given carte blanche ought to be a source of relief, but something about Remus' words agitated him. He felt as if he were stumbling blindly about in the misty woods, unsure and disoriented, while Remus remained a few steps out of reach—as always.

"If I'm a Lethifold, I want to eat all of you," James heard himself say, a joke that was not entirely a joke. "I would wrap you up nice and snug and make you come inside me. And I would ingest every bit of you and leave nothing behind. And if you are a Lethifold, you can eat me. I'm sure I would come loads inside you and die in ecstasy."

Green eyes narrowed, Remus cast James a furtive glance before looking down at the bottle in his hand. "I would never eat you," he said quietly.

"Because you would be sad if I'm gone?" As soon as those words left his mouth, James wondered if Remus was referring to the hypothetical Lethifold or the very real wolf that existed inside of him. Feeling a flicker of guilt, he continued in a light-hearted tone. "Well, I would have to live a little longer and master my DADA class for your sake."

Remus knitted his brow. "That's not funny."

"Sorry," James said with as much sincerity as he could muster. Wrapping his arms around Remus, he rested his head against Remus' head and closed his eyes. "Why don't we find some place where we can be alone? Or we can stay here and do all kinds of naughty things. I've never tried it in the library before."

"We'll be late for dinner," Remus pointed out.

Like the lonely, greedy child that he was, James held onto Remus tightly and breathed words into his ear. "Everyone will be at dinner, so no one will be around to catch us. We can get something to eat later. Anything you like."

"And the house-elves shall grant my wish?" Remus said in a sardonic tone. A beat or two later, he relaxed in James' arms and squeezed James' hand as though wanting to appease him. "Just for a little while." A pause. "What did Sirius say about the other night?"

Snapped awake from his amorous mood, James thought about his partner in crime, his words, his face, and his striking grey eyes that seemed intent on telling him something he could not quite catch. On the cusp between ignorance and understanding, he decided to let it go, and the strand of thought fell away into the deep.

"Nothing much," James lied. "It's all right. He won't tell anyone."

"I'm not worried."

Something in Remus' voice stirred up a vague sense of unrest in James, and lifting his head, he found Remus staring off into the distance with a pensive look on his face. For one delirious moment, he wanted to peel away the many faces of Remus and see what was hidden beneath it all—Remus in his raw, naked glory, devoid of armour and restraint, like the beautiful grey wolf that appeared once a full moon.

Keeping the thought to himself, James grabbed the Butterbeer bottle from Remus' hand, took a swig, and wished it was liquor instead. "That's good. Let's snog some more."

A knowing smile appeared upon Remus' lips. "Spoken like a true romantic." With that he took the bottle from James' hand, drank a mouthful, and let out a sigh. "I'd have to start planning for your Christmas present."

Feeling an itch for Remus and his kisses, James cupped Remus' chin ever so gently and pressed his lips to Remus' lips. A heartbeat or two later, Remus cradled the back of James' head and returned the kiss. Remus had tasted like cinnamon—and chocolate—and as James slipped his tongue into Remus' mouth, he caught the faintest trace of Butterbeer, a taste that reminded him dimly of another boy's kiss.

* * *

_To be continued..._

A/N: The chapter title comes from sukekiyo's song "kisses". Thank you for reading.


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